it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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