Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
