We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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