I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
i believe in u and ur pee
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
