How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize