We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
