Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
two words: eviction party
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
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