Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
