speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Randomize
