i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
