Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize