All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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