Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
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