she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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