i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
