I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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