That reminds me...we need to get swords
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
