btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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