I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
