Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
She swung at the pinata with crutches
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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