I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You have to summon your inner elephant
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
