also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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