I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
