? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
