Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
