after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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