So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I love you. Go after that dick
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
