Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
