nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
