we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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