He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
