I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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