community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
