oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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