Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
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Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
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The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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