Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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