Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
