Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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