Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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