But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Randomize
