so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
