Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
