accomplished twins. life is a go
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
