8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
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