I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Randomize
