Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
