She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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