they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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