Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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