Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
