are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
