just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
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So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
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If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Drake has all the answers
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
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