They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
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Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
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LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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