Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
