Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
one two three fourrrrnication!
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
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HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
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Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
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