just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
