Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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