I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Randomize
