babies were throwing up all over the place
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
