And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
