Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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