Quick, to the slutcave!
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
