Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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