You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
